A song you can find anywhere

[krystalkatzfics]

Title: A song you can find anywhere

Author: krystalkatz

Rating: PG

Length: Chaptered

Genre: Non-Au (eep!), Romance, angst,

Pairings: Sakurai Sho/Matsumoto Jun, Matsumoto Jun/Ninomiya Kazunari, Sakurai Sho/Aiba Masaki

Disclaimer: I only own the plot, title is Nino’s solo from ‘Beautiful World’

A/N: For the wonderful Salarygyaru, nekoshoujo, Yumi_Usagi, saffia_me, Gambitfox, I hope you like it :-D

Jun and Sakurai started dating right from getting home from Hawaii, though if you watched the shows you would never see it. They were both so scared that someway, somehow the press would find out and then Johnny. Because of their fear of being caught, Jun’s love for Sakurai was put down to being one sided, just a ‘fan crush’ that could be laughed about by the band, everyone else in Johnny’s and the fans.

Out of their band mates only Nino realised that their affection for each other wasn’t brotherly or just pretend. Ohno was too busy with his work and girlfriend and Aiba wasn’t the most observant person in the world. Nino’s teasing became almost unbearable and for the sole purpose of pissing him off Jun noticed that he started clinging tightly to Sakurai, almost every time there was a camera.

“Hey Jun-pon” Nino said with a smirk as he came into the rehearsal room, it had been two years since their debut but still Nino refused to age. “Where’s Sho?”

“Not here, obviously…” Jun said coldly keeping his eyes fixed on his own reflection. The truth was he didn’t know where Sakurai was, he hadn’t been at his apartment last night and whenever Jun tried to ring him he had ended up with the answerphone. To his surprise Nino clicked his tongue and sat in the sofa.

“Jun… You can tell me it’s one of my business…” Nino started after staring at the horrible carpet for a while.

“It’s none of your business” Jun cut in immediately, not liking the tone of voice Nino was using. He knew that it was going to be another remark about his and Sakurai’s relationship. Something along the lines of ‘Sakurai is way to convincing that there’s nothing going on between you’ or ‘don’t you think you should be at least able to tell Aiba and Ohno’. The truth was those where the statements that hurt him the most because they were the same ones he had told himself a dozen times as he looked in his bathroom mirror.

“Okay, fine… Today I’ll let it go…” Nino mumbled and Jun almost felt his mouth fall open in shock, Nino must have caught his expression in the mirror because he gave a laugh and a shrug “I’m too tired to take the piss”

“Are you coming down with something?” Jun asked almost seriously Nino was never too tired to take the piss out of someone let alone him.

“No I’m fine” Nino answered and Jun was positive he heard “I guess I’ll never win” mumbled under his breath but when he looked Nino was laying on the beat-up sofa humming to himself his eyes tightly closed. Sakurai, Aiba and Ohno all trooped in shortly after and soon Nino was lolling all over their leader as if he was a second skin. He didn’t get a chance to ask Sakurai where he had been all night before rehearsal started, but from the smiles Aiba was giving his boyfriend he knew.

“Jun I’m sorry about last night…” Sakurai told him as they went down to the lunch room. Jun nodded praying that his voice didn’t tremble when he said

“It’s okay… You were with Aiba-chan, ne?”

“Ye-ah… Jun…” Sakurai started reaching out to touch his arm but Jun moved away.

“Do you love him?” He asked glad that they were the only ones in the corridor

“I th-“

“Yes or no… It’s that easy”

“Yes I love him…”

“Why? Why… Aiba-chan? Why not somebody I’m allowed to hate?” Jun mumbled and was very tempted to scream when Sakurai just hung his head repeating ‘I’m sorry’ until he was sick of the words. “You know what I think I’d better skip lunch… I keep messing up after that second turn” he said quickly running back towards the rehearsal room. Nino was still inside practicing in front of the wall length mirror and Jun slammed himself against his thin chest.

“Jun? Jun, tell me what happened?” Nino asked his arms going around his back automatically.

“Sho… Masaki…” He said surprised to find himself sobbing.

“I’ll kill them” Nino spat his body tensing his arms slipping from around him “I’ll seriously fucking kill him…”

“No… Jus-t stay, Kazu” Jun begged and with a reluctant sigh Nino hugged him again

“For as long as you need, J” He agreed and Jun relaxed against him allowing Nino to stroke the pain away.

Present Day…

As he moved around the stage a whirl of things went around and around his head and every now and then his eyes went to Nino hoping that his leg was going to make it. Luckily he just had to rub it a few times and he managed it. After their segment had finished he tried to catch him but Nino was clinging tightly to Ohno and Jun couldn’t bring himself to bring anything up in front of leader. By the time Ohno had left Nino was already bolting out of the building as fast as his injured leg would take him. Jun sighed running his fingers through his hair, maybe it was for the best he still couldn’t work out his own feelings on the matter.

“Jun-kun can I have a word?” He heard Sakurai say behind him and he turned giving a smile. It wasn’t awkward between them, no matter what Nino thought he had gotten over what he and Sakurai had had a long time ago. He had lost out to Aiba years ago now. The knowledge that his ex and first love was now happy with their other band mate should have made what happened worse but he couldn’t deny that they made an overly cute and adorable couple.

“Sure, what’s wrong?”

“You and Nino… I have to say that I’ve… Well most people have noticed that you and he aren’t at each other throats as much as you used to be… It’s nice but… Um… Are you and he dating?”

“What?” Jun said biting his lip almost groaning, he really shouldn’t have said that earlier he thought. He knew that something like this was going to happen. Sakurai just continued to stare at him keeping their eyes locked together.

“Come on you can’t lie to me…”

“We’re not dating” Jun said easily, it was the truth, months could pass between them actually having sex or any contact outside of work related projects though, recently though they had been seeing each other more often and not always just for sex. “Anyway what’s it to you if I am seeing him? Or anyone for that matter…”

“You know care about you…” Sakurai mumbled and Jun knew he meant it in a different way from the way Ohno and Aiba always said ‘I care about Arashi’ when they were drunk

“Hmm… Pity you didn’t care about this much eleven years ago…” He replied with a half-smile his eyes narrowing quickly just because he didn’t mind, didn’t mean he had forgiven him. Sakurai visibly flinched and just a little his heart enjoyed the pain in his face “It’s your anniversary soon ne? You and Aiba-chan…”

“Jun…”

“Eleven years… That’s impressive Sho, more so for you… What is it that has kept you with him for so long?”

“Jun please…” Sakurai almost whined, normally Jun would have given in but today he folded his arms across his chest and jutted out his chin, almost glaring at him. His memories of their first time together were still fresh from last night’s dream and the memories of their break-up resurfacing were making him crankier than ever.

“No I really want to know, what is it that Aiba Masaki has that I don’t? What does he have that made you cheat with him, Sho? You’ve apologised loads of times but you never told me… Why? Why him?”

“He’s always so… Innocent… He needs me where you never did... The first time he and I did it… He had been drinking heavily and you know how he gets, he started crying and saying that he didn’t belong in Arashi, that he wasn’t needed... And I… I couldn’t help myself I told him the truth… That he was the only reason I enjoyed working with Arashi…I swear to god I never meant to but I couldn’t stop myself I just realised that it was the truth…” Sakurai stopped letting out a sigh as he ran his fingers through his hair. Jun let the information sink in, he had asked for the truth and now he had it. Sakurai liked Aiba because no matter how old he was he was ‘innocent’. Back then Jun was just starting to get his doS image, starting to lose the innocent smiley character he had.

“So if I was still the same as when we first debuted… You would have stayed… You wouldn’t have gone with him?”

“No, I’m sorry, I would have always ended up with him…” Sakurai told him in a whisper and Jun nodded, that was true, it felt like they were born to be together. Sakurai never hid his feelings for Aiba the way that he had with Jun. Though it had become clear over the last few years, looking back at their old videos you could still see it. “Jun… If you and Nino are together, I’m happy for you… He always has cared about you the most…”

“Aren’t you confusing me with leader?” Jun said, sighing as he tried to push his depressed mood away. He had always told himself that it wasn’t worth being upset about. Aiba didn’t know that he and Sakurai had been dating and although at the time Nino had threatened to tell him, Jun wanted it to stay that way.  Maybe it was because of Aiba’s happy face or maybe because he genuinely believed that Sakurai deserved to be happy.  

“No I mean you… Nino has an interesting personality… Nothing is straight forward to him… But in his heart you’ve always been number one… So maybe you should tell him that he’s number one in yours…”

TBC

A/N: I finally watched the DVD… So so good… Nothing beats a windswept rain washed MatsuMiya pair ne 8-D, both their solos are amazing and so was Aiba’s I’m really happy right now… Watching disc 3 tonight x-D… I hope you enjoy ^.^